hello, and I need help on recovering... - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism ...

hello, and I need help on recovering...

Hi, I am 24 years of age and still in college and set out to graduate end of next year.

My drug of choice is Oxycotin.

I've started abusing perc 30's since when 1 1/2 years ago... and then abusing with Opana. It's gotten bad to the point where, I would take 40-60mg of opana per day to function. Oh and LOTS of my money.

I NEVER had any addiction problem... I smoked pot here and there and I was sober for about 3 years during my high school year to college... and BOOM! I started experimenting with new drugs. I develop my interest in pills, because I thought it was okay for me to take it.... since it's made by the pharmaceutical company. So, me and my cousin started abusing perc 30's and opana like there was no tomorrow... I would get hangovers and I would feel like crap in the morning. I use to be very muscular, hitting the gym 24/7, and very healthy as well.

As the days went by... I started losing friends... and stealing from other people... and I was brought up as a Asian family, therefore stealing is BIG crime in our tradition. But I've started realizing... wow I NEED to stop, and that was back late last year. So, I did my research and seek for help.

I found out that, Suboxone (off of street) can help you cope with the withdrawls and I was successful at becoming sober. But later, I was diagnosed with ADHD, and got prescribed to Adderall, which has been tremendously help to improve in my daily task and life. (I only take the when I need it and never abused it once). While, I started messing with Oxys again... and I've been draining my money on this drug and I felt like this time I need help.

So, here is how I kicked my habit before...
My sister became a pharmacist, therefore she needed to relocate home. So I've decided to go live with her for a month (so I can kick my habit for good). And during this time, my cousin left to korea (family reasons) and my girlfriend was in korea as well (due to family reasons)... so I was all alone in this hell... I read somewhere that weed can help to cope with opiate patients, so I've only used it when I would feel very depressed. And I've gotten through my opiate hell and I stopped smoking weed. I was sober, ALL BY MY SELF.

About 6 months later, I've decided to pick up couple for myself... and here I was again... samething over and over and over... now I cannot afford to spend on any drugs and I've managed to pick up few Suboxone and started taking it today... So it's been less than 24 hours.

I went through minor withdrawl today, feeling down, depressed, and sad. But I think daily doses of my adderall is helping with my depression. (sure as hell I will never abuse these) bottom line... I want and need to be sober. I need support and help to get me through all my negative emotions and all the thoughts of wanting to pick up more stuff. I even thought of relocating again... but I need to graduate to be out in the world. I need your help and I am reaching out for the first time in my life for help. I am a college student with being broke and going through hell...

Source: http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/newcomers-recovery/270838-hello-i-need-help-recovering.html

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