Behavioural Intelligence ? The Secrets of the Most Successful ...

There?s not a magic formula to being a great negotiator. Years on the road and round the table have taught me that Behavioural Intelligence is the essential tool for you to get the results you want and maintain a working relationship that allows you work together again in the future, two elements that you need to constantly manage in negotiations.

Behavioural Intelligence is about emotional awareness, social awareness and relationship management. At its heart it?s about self regulation and self management. The most skilled negotiators, leaders and influencers make a conscious decision based on the current context and what they want to achieve. To achieve this they are both in the meeting and a ?fly on the wall? ? a detached observer looking at the bigger picture of what?s going on. If you decide what to say or do as you say or do it it?s quite simply too late. You have about 0.6 seconds to make your decision ? that?s the moment between your brain sending the message and your mouth or face starting to move.

By learning the labels or classification of behaviours that I have covered in other articles you are already increasing your chances. Being able to name something means your prefrontal cortex doesn?t need to engage in so much processing. If I tell you to ?get in the car? you can immediately know what that means and you don?t need to spend time decoding the message. If, instead, I say ?get in the four wheeled vehicular transport designed for personal use? you have to unpick the meaning and match it to the labels you have for that category of thing.

Two distinct skills or techniques employed by negotiators and leaders trained in Behavioural Intelligence are part of the tool kit and not only help you to operate mindfully but actually improve your relationship and increase your trust and openness ?scores?.

Behaviour Labelling ? This means announcing the behaviour before you do it. So you say something like ?I?d like to make a proposal?? or ?I?d like to just check what we?ve agreed?? Most people just start talking and the other side has to guess what?s coming. The best negotiators pre-label their behaviours five times more than the less successful.

One Behaviour at a Time ? An interesting side effect of behaviour labelling is the tendency to only do one behaviour, to say or do one thing and then stop talking. The worst influencers, leaders and negotiators tend to, for example, ask a question and then offer a range of answers themselves. Much more powerful is to ask and stop at the question mark.

These two techniques help you influence by design (not by accident) and practise mindful negotiation ? the art of choosing and using the behaviour that is most relevant and efficacious in the current context. You can?t, in reality, do much to control them ? but you can always be in charge of and control you and your own behaviour; that?s Behavioural Intelligence.

Clive is co-owner of ClearWorth , a company specialising in bespoke manager, leader and team development for major organisations around the world. Clive lives in the UK and France and works all over the world in 26 countries in the last 10 years from Ohio to Oman, London to Lagos, Surrey to Syria. Clive thinks, teaches and writes about negotiation, influence, interpersonal relationships and cross cultural communication.

Source: http://www.justtheirthoughts.com/blog/2011/06/08/behavioural-intelligence-the-secrets-of-the-most-successful-negotiators/

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